Saturday, October 3, 2009

Tuesday, May 12, 2009


When you can live in more time?
What do you live for?

I'm not sure how to breathe without you....
I'm not quite sure if I'm ready to leave all we were

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Aku dan laspagha

Cover Novel


Gombong, 20 Januari 2009

Teruntuk sahabatku,
Masih ingatkah saat pagi itu, ketika laut meneriakkan salam pada kita?
Saat itu matahari juga ikut tertawa mengiringi tawa empat puluh empat hati yang saling berjanji.
Yang aku ingat tentang keinginan kita….untuk tetap satu.
Meski empat puluh empat tubuh yang berbeda dan dari hati yang tentunya berbeda, tapi kita semua yakin bahwa disini…..
Hanya ada sebuah kata.satu.
Dimanapun kita berada akan selalu kita bawa,bahkan sampai bel sekolah mengantarkan kita ke rumah.
Senyum, kesedihan,yang kita titipkan pada senja dan senja sampaikan pada malam dan malam kembalikan pada embun yang mengantarkan kita bersama lagi di sini.
Rabu senja di kala langit menangis. Di koridor itu menanti hujan bersama, berlari dan…. Tahukah saat itu dunia iri pada kita.
Pada senyum kiota, pada senyummu….
Seandainya senja itu tak pernah usai,munkin senyum ini takkan terhenti.Terhenti sejenak, dan mengalirkan dara tak berwarna yang membasahi pipi.
Teman, kau mengajarkan kami banyak hal, tentang senyum, keceriaan, kebersamaan, dank au juga yang meyakinkan kami untuk terus berdiri, melanjutkan yang tersisa. Melanjutkan perjuangan kita, melanjutkan janji kita.
Dan pagi ini…
Saat mentari masih melukis sisa hujan kemarin sore, bayangan langkahmu masih berlari di sini.
Berlari…. mengejar semua mimpi bersama kita.

Mengenang 16 Januari 2009
Untuk R. Thoriq Yahya dalam kenangan

Wednesday, March 4, 2009



It is a nice evening. It heard a song, MY HEART WILL GO ON, which sang by Celine Dion. It is become a soundtrack of TITANIC film. In a big house, like an American, there is a beautiful girl who is making up herself in front of a mirror. She does it happilly.
It is Saturday, June 29 th. The girl whose name is Nurima Lestha Andrea, but her friends like calling her with the name Ann, will celebrate her birthday with her closest friend since they are children, Atan. They will meet in Candles Lake which is full of candles when they are there together.
Their parents had recognized them in order to make a best relationship between them.It is done by always making them together in the most of their activities since they are children. They always playing together and there is a special thing about them, that their date of birth is equal. They always make their friends happy although their heart were sad.
Atan will have his 19th birthday and Ann 17th. They began to celebrate it together when Atan were 17th. He asked his parents that he wanted to do it. His parents understood about it and give him permission. When he heared it, he was very happy. He went to Ann’s house and said it to her happilly.

Every night in my dream
I see you I feel you
That is how I know you go on
Far across the distance
And spaces between us
You have come to show you go on
Near far wherever you are
I believe that the heart will go on
Once more you open the door
And you’re here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on
This song is still heard in Ann’s room. It is one of her favourite love songs. She had seen the film more time too.
KRIING . . . . KRIING . . . . KRIING . . . .
The telephone rang.
Ann go to the telephone table and answer it.
‘Hallo, who’s there?’ She said.
‘Hallo Ann, I’m Atan, are you ready?’ A speaker said.
‘Oh yes I’m, wait for a few minute, I will come soon . . . . ‘ She said.
‘Ok, thanks, Assalamualaikum’
‘Wa’alaikumsalam.’ She said.
Ann go to her room again. She tunr the mp3 of, take a violet bag, and leaves her room.
‘Mom, I’m going to go out now....’She said to her mom.
‘Ok my baby, Be careful.’ Mom said.
‘Yes mom, Assalamualaikum.’
She walk across a big field near her house.
Look at her face!!
Look at her eyes!!
She looks very happy, You can see a happiness rainbow on her eyes.
A boy whose high is about 175 centimetres is flamming many candles around the lake. He has prepared a small picnic for Ann.
Beside him, there are a flower, a red carpet, a basket which is full of friuts, a botlle of orange juice, a violet candle, and a bag.
He sees a beautiful girl whom is approaching and smiling to him a few minute later. He is sure that she is Ann.
‘What a beautiful girl you are.’ He said.
‘What a handsome boy you are.’ She said.
‘Why do you follow my words?’ He said.
‘Why do you follow my words?’ She said.
They are having a joke together. They laugh for a few minute.
They began to prepare a few picnic.
Atan is spreading a red carpet while Ann is opening the basket.
‘Ann, give me the bag please . . . !’
‘Ok, here you are’ She said.
They sit beside the candles and start to say something one another, that they will be randesvous forever and feeling their happiness and sadness together.
‘Happy birthday my pretty girl’ He said.
Happy birthday my brave boy’ She said.


The evening climb the night. There are many stars in the sky this night. The lake is like a small star when it is seen from a long distance because it is arounded by many candles.
‘When do you began to arrange it?’ Ann said.
‘At four o’clock.’
‘What ??? You spent much time to do this. Why don’t you ask me to help you? I’m sure that you are very tired now . . . ‘ She said.
‘It doesn’t matter.’ He said shortly.
‘Well, by the way, what are your plan after your age of 19th?’
‘I will get married, hehehehe . . . . ‘ Atan laughed.
‘With me surely?’ She said.
‘ Oh. . . What have you said before?’ He said.
‘ No, there isn’t a repeating news, It’s very expensive, Hehehehe.’
They are silent together.
Atan think that he must say his feeling to Ann now.
He makes himself to be sure about his mind. He has prepare it a long time ago without her knowledge. He must say it now in order to being not late. He doesn’t have any time again before his time come. He hadn’t been certain about his words which will say by him.
‘Ann, Do you bring your HP?’ He said.
‘Oh, yes, here you are . . . ‘
She gives her HP to Atan, then they listen its mp3 together.
Don’t say you love me
Unless forever
Don’t tell me you need me
If you weren’t gonna stay
Don’t give me this feeling
I only believe it
Make it real
Or take it all away.
A song ‘DON’T SAY YOU LOVE ME’ which is sang by THE CORRS, makes their mind become full of many unknown feelings. They keep silent.
Ann take an orange and remove it peel. Atan notice her behaviour carefully. He looks how Ann remove it peel.
Ann give some cloves to him. They eat it together without any words come out from their lips.
‘Do you like this song Atan?’ She said.
‘Oh I like it very much. It is my favourite love song in THE CORRS album, how about you?’ He said.
‘Surely, so do I.’
They are silent again.
‘Ann, I want to say something to you.’ He said.
‘What is it?’
Atan just silent. He hasn’t been sure about what will he say to Andrea.
He hasn’t say something to Ann, he just keep silent.
‘Atan, answer me please . . . !!!’ She said.
‘I won’t be your old brother anymore again,’ He said.
Hearing Atan’s words, Ann become weak because she is so surprized.
She bowed her face.
Green grass is looked by her.
She is confused about Atan’s words. How can he say it to me. Don’t he know what is her feeling of him????
‘Ann, I’m sorry, I can’t.’ He said again.


Many stars began to settle themselves in the sky. The night become dark because there is no stars and moon. The lake just get a shine from some candles which arround it.
‘Ann, I began to miss you not as my young sister but as a girl.’ He said.
‘ Why do you say it, Atan . . . ?’
‘ Long time ago, you aren’t like this, you become different .’ She shouted.
‘’ Ann, you must understand that once is different from now,there are many event that aren’t known by you.’ He said.
‘’ Do you understand what I says? Ann, you must understand it.’ He added.
‘’ Yes, but it because I miss you too . . . not as my old brother, but as a boy.’ She said.
‘’ Ann, really??? What you say? It is true?’
‘ It’s true and really, It is a fact that I miss you too.’
‘’Oh, Ann I’m very happy to hear that. You have make my heart become wonderful.’
‘’ Atan, I’m serious, I miss you once, now, and forever.’ She said.
‘’ Lets go home now, it began to be night. Come on . . . ‘
‘’ Okay . . . . ‘ She said.

They pack what they bring that evening, then they go home together.

The candles in the lake have been fully off when they leave it. They walk together to reach their home. They have arrived in front of her house. Atan say good night before he leave Ann.
‘’ Okay, good night, Ann.’ He said.
‘’ Yes, good night, have a nice dream . . . !’
‘ See you tomorrow.’
‘’ Well, I go home now. Miss you . . ‘ He said.
’ Miss you too .’

‘’Assalamualaikum, mom . . . where are you?’ She said.
‘Mom is here, Ann, in the living room.’
Andrea goes to the living room fast. She sit beside her mom.
‘ Mom, I’m very happy.’ She said.
’Why ?? Oh mom has know, you don’t need to say it to me, mom can see from your eyes, Ann.’
‘’ Why? Where do mom know it from?’’ She said.
‘’ Hemmm . . .It is about Atan, isn’t it?’
‘’ Hemmm . . .my baby has been falling in love.’Mom said.
‘’ Oh, mom don’t say it now, I …’
‘’ Dad, our baby fall in love, hear me please.’ Mom said.
‘’ Mom, don’t say it him . . !’
‘’ Oh, it doesn’t matter my baby.’ He said.
‘ We had paln your marry with him.’ He added.
‘ We had talk it with his parents too.’ Dad said.
‘’ You have just wait your married with him.’
‘ Wow, I don’t know that mom and dad plan it to me.’ She said.
‘’ Thank you mpm, dad. I’m very sleepy, I want to go bed now, Good night . . !’
Ann open the door, then she come in to her bedroom. She put her bag on the table and crash into her bed. Her eyes were closed. She imagines something that is very beautiful in her mind. She will marry with her favourite boy which will bring her to an ideal life.
‘ Oh my God, I’m very happy, I’m not in a dream am I? Thanks God, you has hear my pray . . . .’
She arrange some books that is disarray. She put them into the bookself. She take a story book and rad it while continuing her daydreams until she is sleep.
‘ How about your party my son?’ Atan’s dad said.
‘ Oh, it is very amazing. I’m very happy but I’m tired now, so I want to go to my bedroom, Good bye dad, Good night . . . ‘ He said.
He climb the ladder and come into his bedroom. He closed the door, then he go to the bathroom. Coming out from the bathroom, he go to sleep happily with a wish that he will has a nice dream.
The night is fully dark now. There’s no stars, moon, and many lamps have been turned off. Everyone is in theirself dreams this night. They wish tha the following day will be better from today.


It is a nice morning. Many people ready to continue their activities today after they had a long sleep last night. It heard a song which sang by M2M when Ann is reading a magazine beside a swimming pool in her back yard.
Oh my pretty pretty boy I love you
Like a never-ever love no one before you
Pretty pretty boy of mine
Just tell me you love me too
Oh my pretty pretty boy I need you
Oh my pretty boy I do
Let me inside make me stay right beside you

It is her habbit on Monday morning while waiting her friend, Atan pick her up to go to their secret place.
‘ Miss Ann, there is a call for you . . . !!’ Her assistant said.
‘ From whom?’ She said.
‘ I don’t know, She is a girl. May be, she is your friend.’ She said again.
‘ Oh’
‘Here it is.’ She give the telephone to Ann.
‘Okay, thanks.’ She said.
She receive it and answer.
‘ Hallo, Assalamualaikum . . . ‘
‘ Waalaikumsalam, ‘ A speaker said.
‘ Who’s there?’ She said.
‘ Oh, have you forgot me Ann? I’m Sharon.’
‘ Oh, I’m sorry. Sharon, how are you today?’ She said.
‘ I’m fine . . . and you . . . ?’ Sharon said.
‘I’m fine too.’ She said.
‘ Hehehe, how about your date with Atan last night?’ Sharon said.
‘ Hey, you are wrong. It just a small picnic to celebrate our birthday in our secret palce . . . , There isn’t more again, You understand?’
‘ Are you happy?’ Sharon said.
‘ Oh I’m very happy, I still feel it untill now.’
‘ Congratulation for you, I’m sure that you and him will be o good couple in the future,’ Sharon said.
‘ Amien . . . ‘ She said.
‘ okay, I will have a shoping with my mom this morning, Good bye Assalamualaikum, ‘ Sharon said.
‘ Good bye, Waalaikumsalam.’
‘ Thank you, bring it to it’s place again,’ She said to her assistant.
‘ Okay miss, Oh I’m forget to tell you that you are called by you Dad in the living room now,’
‘ What happen ?’ She said.

I don’t know about it , It will be better if you go there now,’ The assistant said.
‘ Okay’ She said.
Ann leaves her magazine on the table beside the swimming pool. She goes to the living room quickly. She wants to know what will her Dad said to her. She think that Dad will began to talk about her marry with Atan, Hehehehe . . . .
‘ Assalamualaikum, Dad you want to say something to me?’ She said.
‘ Yes, sit beside Dad my baby . . . ‘ He said.
‘ How about your study Ann?’ Dad said.
‘ Oh, It’s will be finished by January next year,’ She said.
‘ I’m arranging my skription now.’
‘ Good, Dad want you to continue your study in Franch to take an International Banking.’ Dad said.
‘ What???? Dad want me to do it?’ She shout.
‘ Dad has thought about it a long time ago, You must be calm, It’s for your best Okay . . . ‘
‘ What is your mean that you plan my marry with Atan if you will send me to go to Franch?’ She shout.
‘ You just do your best and all is finished, ‘ He said.
‘ Okay Dad, I understand your command. I will continue my study in Franch.’
‘ Yes, Dad is happy to hear that, you can continuing your activity today . . . Dad will began to take your case to the Education Department in our country.’ He said.
‘ I will back to the swimming pool again, Assalamualaikum,’
‘ Waalaikumsalam’
She read her magazine again, but her mind is uncomfortable because of her Dad words. The song has bee changing to a song sang by THE CORRS which titled BREATHLESS.
Go on, go on, leave me breathless
Come on…
The daylight’s fading slowly
but time with you is standing still
I’m waiting for you only
The slightest touch and I’ll feel weak
I cannot lie
From you I cannot hide
I’m losing the will to try
Can’t hide it ( can’t hide it )
Can’t fight it ( can’t fight It )
Go on, go on, come on leave me breathless
Tempt me, tease me until I can’t deny this
loving feeling, make me long for your kiss
Go on, go on
Yeah, come on…
And if there’s no tomorrow
And all we have is here and now
I’m happy just to have you
You’re all the love I need somehow
I must say it to Atan. He must know tha I will be far of him. She go out to reach Atan’s house. She began to dream that they will saparated for a long time in the future.
‘ Oh my God, what has happened to me? Yesterday, I felt a happiness and now a sadness come unfortunatelly to me.
‘ Wat’s wrong with me?’ She said herself.
She arrived at Atan’s house. She knocked the door and wait for an answer from the house.
The door opened. She sees a handsome, brave and dever boy in front of her.
‘ Good morning, Atan.’ She said.
‘ Good morning, is there anything to be said?’ He said.
‘ Yes, I want to say something to you.’
‘ Let’s go to my garden now, we talk there,’
‘Okay,’ She said
Ann feel thet she can’t say it to him. She can’t see his sadness. Her heart is sick. She is certainly difficult to leave him alone in Indonesia.
Oh my God, give me power to explain this to him . . . .
‘ Ann, sit down please…’ He said.
‘ Oh, yes thanks’ She said.
‘ What will you say to me? You can say it now, I will listen you calmly.’ He said.
‘ I feel difficult to say it…’
‘ Why?’ He said.
‘ I will go to Franch to continue my study, my Dad want me do that.’ She said.
‘ Oh, I have known it from him’
‘ I give you permission to go there’ He said.
‘ Why ?? I really want you to disturb his plan.’
She said.
‘ Ity isn’t a good thing, You must understand it Ann, I’m sure if we are mate, we will meet again althought in beyond, I’m sure.’ He said.
‘ Oh, you are very wise, I’m happy to become your girl.’
‘ Thanks, Let’s go to our secret place now.’ He said.
‘ Okay,’ She said.
They go to their secret place together. They walk in a trotoar about a half kilometres.
‘ Okay, we arrive. Let’s sit under the tree !!!’ he said.
‘ Yes.’ She said.
‘ Ann, you won’t forget me if you in Franch, will you?’ He said.
‘ You can hold my words Atan, you a boy I wanted only.’ She said.
‘ Thanks Ann, I’m sure you will be succeed there. I just can help you with my pray. I will always pray for you get your success there, and you will come back bringing your academic title.’ He said.
‘ Surely, I promised.’
Their eyes are changed to the lake in front of them. They look it carefully that they always use it to be assembled. It had becoming their secret place since they were children.
Look at Atan !!!
He looked prepare a poem for Ann. He wants her to be his first audience for hearing it.
‘ Ann, hear me please !!! I have a poem for you.’ He said shortly.
To the very best that happen in my life
Long ago in my mind, I can see you
Face lonely and pass in time
You were gone since yester month
But the memories never would disapear
I think of you, I THINK OF YOU
Yes it’s true I can pretend. But the paint of blue
Keep beat me till the end
Yes it’s to undeerstand why you leaving me
And all we dreaming on
Dear my love, I close my eyes and see your face
I know what I can do to be with you
Long ago so far away, But the light of blue,
Still leaving with me today
You were gone since yester month
But the memories never would disapear
He stop his words, then bowed his face. He wish that Ann will receive it as a love statement for her. He wait for Ann’s answer. It’s a long time. He hasn’t hear a word from her.
‘ Atan . . . ‘
‘ Yes, I am.’ She said.
‘ Hmmmm, where do you get it from? Hehehehe’ She said with her natural smile thet can make him fly to the sky.
‘ What ??? Ann, what you say? I take it from a book? Yes, it your mean? Oh you have disturb my heart. Congratulation, and you are succed.’ He said.
Atan swing around his face to the other side.
‘ Ehmmm, I’m not sure . . . ‘ She said.
‘ But you like it, don’t you?’
‘ I like it, but you must know that I never will be gone for a long time because I still in your heart.’ She said.
‘ I know, and I will keep you in my heart. I won’t give you permission for going out from it.’ He said.
‘ Ok, now let’s listen my new mp3. I just already get it from my friend.’ She said.
Ann take a handphone from her pocket and turn it mp3 on. They began to dream again with the song sang by THE CORRS.
Everyone's changing
I stay the same
I'm a solo cello outside a chorus
I've got a secret
It's time for me to tell it
You've been keeping me warm

To sweet beginnings
And bitter endings
In coffee city, we borrowed heaven
Don't give it back
I've never felt so wanted
Are you taking me home?
You tell me you have to go
In the heat of summer sunshine
I miss you
Like nobody else
In the heat of summer sunshine
I'll kiss you
And nobody needs to know

‘ Oh my God, how about our birthday??’ She said.
‘ I have thought a good idea. When you are studying in Franch, every year in our birthday I will send you a letter and a give, and you do too. You must give me a letter and a give as a statement that you and I still connected. I promise that I will flam many candles here every year to celebrate our birthday, so we still celebrate our birthday together altought you were in Franch.’ He said.
‘ Great, It’s a good idea, I agree.’
‘ Next time when yoou come back to Indonesia, you will have been 23rd years old, and we are ready to marry. I wait you here because I’m sure we will reach it.’ He said.
‘ I’m very happy to hear that, altought we are far, we will never saparated because our hearts always connect in love.’
‘ You must certain that I wait hou here’ He said.
‘ And I will come back bringing a pride for you.’
‘ Okay, I hold your promise.’ He said.
‘ Thanks for all Atan, I feel that I am the only girl with my happiness in this world.’ She said.
‘ Go on carefully and come back safely.’ He said.
‘ Yes.’
‘ It has been afternoon, It will be better if we go home now. How about having braekfast in my house?’ He said.
‘ Oh, okay’
He standed and hold Ann’s hand to be armed. They go to Atan’s house to have breakfast with his family there.
‘ Atan, what time is it??’
‘ Oh, eight o’clock?’ He said.
‘ Yeah, I have a few time only in your house because I will go to Central Bank to have a research.’ She said.
‘ It doesn’t matter.’
‘ Yes, It does.’


Atan sit on the chair in his studying table. He is writing a diary book. He never do it before, but he doesn’t have any choises. What happen with him. Does it very important for him???

Dear Diary
My name is Atandira Atmanegara. I’m studying in Indonesian University. This night I don’t know where will I say my problem, so I regard you as a best friend to hear it.
Dy, This morning she has said that she will go to Franch for continuing her study. It was a command from her parents, so she refuse it.
She follow their will to go tpo Franch on January next year. This is not a long time till she is gone away. It’s June, so it’s about six months again before she go. Altought I had given her my permission for going, I feel sick if I must be saparated from her. We had been together since we were children, without a saparatise time before.
Ann, don’t you know that I love you very much. I can life without you. I don’t know what will happen with my lung cancer if you don’t beside me. Some years, I always happy everyday between my sickness because of you. And a few time more, you will leave me alone. I don’t know I cann defend my live or not. Ann, I want you to become the only girl in my heart. If it is possible, I’m really want to marry with you to become your life friend till forever. My family doctor has said to me that my life still three years only and it is if there’s a miracle for me. I don’t know what will happen with me between that time.
I don’t want you know that I’m sick because I can’t see your sadness. I want you only know that I am a healty boy which never get a sickness. But, sometime I’m sure that you will know it. So, I must prapare all the thing so that when you know, you won’t be surprized.
Ann, my life for you. I life because of you and my death for you, I will wait you in the beyond cause I’m sure it will be happen.

Ann,You are my life
You are my pewer
You are my inspiration
You are my girl
You are my love

It’s hard for me to say the things
I want to say sometimes
There’s no one here but you and me
And that broken old street light
Lock the doors
We’ll leave the world outside
All I’ve got to give to you
Are these five words when I
Thank you for loving me
For being my eyes
When I couldn’t see
For parting my lips
When I couldn’t breathe
Thank you for loving me
Thank you for loving me

Part of me laught
Part of me cries
Part of wants to question why
Why is there joy
Why is there pain
Why is there sunshine and the rain
One day you were here, next you were gone
No matter what we must go on
Just keep the faith and
Let love lead the way
Everything will work go round
If you let love....
Lead love lead the way

The song is very match with Ann’s case now. She doesn’t know what she must do in all of her problems. Part of her heart wants not to leave Atan, but the other side force her to follow her father command.
She is in her bedroom now. She sit in front of the mirror. She hold her hair then she goes to the window in her room. Se sees a view in front of her.
‘ Oh, it is a cloudly morning . . . . The sun doesn’t appear . Why is it happen to me??? Why do I feel that my situation is the same as the weather now, cloudly and there isn’t the sunshine in my heart.
Atan, this day I will be go to Paris, leaving you alone, leaving our sweet memories, leaving our Candles Lake, the secret place since we are children, and leaving our happiness here.
I don’t want to do this but my father wants me to go to Franch, and you know that I won’t make him be dissapointed.
I’m very afraid to leave all of things that had been built by us. Atan . . . .don’t you hear me talking here, talking about us.’
‘Ann, will you have a sweet ending breakfast with us?’ Mom said.
‘Yes mom, I will come down soon . . .’ She said.
‘ Okay, we wait you here . . . be quickly my baby, you will fly to Paris this afternoon . . .’ Mom said.

Ann goes to the mirror again. She wears a scarf around her hair, packs her cosmetics in a bag and then she goes down to have breakfast with her family.
‘Good morning Dad . . . .’ She said.
‘ Good morning my baby, how are you today . . . you are fine aren’t you?’ Dad said.
‘ Oh, I’m very fine this morning . . . but there a thing that still float in my heart.’ She said.
‘ What is this, can I know ???’
‘ I want to meet Atan for a last time . . . you give me permission to do this aren’t you ???’ She said.
‘ Oh, surely we give you’ Dad said.
‘ Thanks a lot Dad, you are my best I had . . .’
‘ You can meet him after having breakfast.’

They continue their breakfast without any words come out from their lips. They look that they can stand their saparatise time when Ann is in Franch but actually this is really a falsehood. They can’t live without seeing their daughter in front of them but they must stand in this case if they want to look her become a succes girl in her future. They must make their child become a good people in her social life. That’s why they do this, altought they are very difficult to free her alone in Franch. Mom is the first people who will feel of lost in her the only child. She had uttered her in a difficult way. She wish that Ann won’t miss them while she is in Franch for her study.
‘ Mom, I want to go to Atan’s home now, Assalamualaikum . . . ‘ She said.
‘ Okay, be careful my baby . . .’
‘ Okay mom.’ She said.


Andrea is walking to Atan’s home. She wants to meet him for saying some words. She is really confused about her feel. In one time she is hapy to go to Franch, but in the other side she is only a weak girl who can’t stand her love.
TOK . . .TOK . . .TOK. . .
‘Assalamualaikum, anybody here??’
She hasn’t hear an answer from the house. Where are them?? They will accompany her going to the airport won’t they???
A few minute later, a gardener in his house approachs her. He look wants to say something to Ann.
‘ Good morning Miss Ann, what are you doing here??’ He said.
‘ Oh, I want t meet Atan . . . where is he, I don’t see him ths day . . .’ She said.
‘Oh, don’t you know that they are going to Anyer this morning ??? Don’t they talk to you about it???’ He said.
‘ Oh, they don’t say anything to me or my family that they go to Anyer. What are they doing there???’ She said.
‘ I don’t know about it, they only give me a command to say it to you.’ He said.
‘ Please . . . give me a reason why they don’t give me an information about their journey to Anyer.’ She said.
‘ I’m sorry I don’t know . . .’
‘ Okay, thanks. I will go home now, Assalamualaikum . . .’ She said.
‘ Waalaikumsalam . . .’ He said.
She go to her house sadly. Why Atan do this to her. She feel that she doesn’t do anything that can make him angry but he isn’t beside her now when she will see him for the last time. Her tears began to come down passing her cheek out of her command. She think that she must call him for asking an explanation about this case. Why he leave her without her knowledge in her day going to Franch. She walks to her home fast. She wish that he will see her when she fly on the Garuda Indonesia to go to Franch. She wish that he will become the last person who see her back when she enter the waiting room in the Airport.
She arrives in front of her house. She enters the house soon, and goes to her bedroom. She takes her handphone and dial some number. It’s Atan’s number. May be, she wants to call him to ask something she needed.
‘ Assalamualaikum.’ She said.
‘Waalaikumsalam.’ A speaker said.
‘ Atan, It’s you??? I want to say something . . .’ She said.
‘ Yes, I’m. What will you say to me, be fast please, I’m in the busy time now.’ He said.
‘ What . . . . so, I’m a disturb people in your time ???’ She said.
‘ No . . . I just feel tired, so I hope you will say it soon.’ He said.
‘ Oh, I want to know why you leave me in my last day in Indonesia. You know that this day I will go to Franch for my study. Why you don’t accompany me in my time ??? I think you will understand what I want in our last time but you were different, I don’t feel you love now.’ She said.
‘ It’s false Ann, you know that I love you don’t you??? It’s just a joking if you regard me as that.’ He said.
‘ But you don’t tell me why you go to Anyer with you family. I’m sad.’
‘ Ann, you don’t know all about me, you don’t have a right to say it to me.’
‘ What ?? you say that I don’t recognized me as your girlfriend. I know all about you Tan, Okay it’s enought. I have know that you has been not loving me this time and anymore . . . Thank you for all you give for me Atan . . . Assalamualaikum’ She said then she close the telephone.
‘ Ann, Ann, Ann, You still there ???’ Hear me please. He doesn’t hear any words from Ann, he has been aware about it, that Ann has closed the telephone.
‘ Dad, I want to go to Jakarta now. I want to see her for the last time, Dad give me permission please . . . I will be fine. He said to his Dad.
‘ But you is in you medicinal threatment now, do you will leave it ??? It’s for your health . . . .’ Dad said.
‘ I have said that I will be fine Dad, please . . . ‘
‘ Okay, but you will be accompanied by our driver!!!’ Dad said.
‘ Okay Dad, it doesn’t matter. Thanks Dad.’ He said.
‘ You can go now, you won’t be late will you??’
‘ Yes, I will be fast.’

He goes to Jakarta for saying good bye to her love, Ann. Actually he doesn’t want to see her flying to Franch because he konw that he will be sad, but she had ask him to do it and he can’t refuse it. Far in his heart, he love Ann very much, but he may not make her be sad in his death in the future. He has know how long will he life in this world, not a long time. When Ann come back from Franch, it is possible that she won’t see him again. His life is still three years again and it is if there isn’t a falsehood in the doctor sum about his life in his lung cancer.
Ann has ready to go to the Airport. She is sitting on the chair in her livingroom while waiting her parents put in her bags to the car. She look them carefully. She think what is there in her parents brain so that they send her to Franch. Do they do it for making them far. Not, it is impossible, they has give her pemission for her connection with Atan. If they do it for that reason, it is a loosing time.
‘ Ann, are you ready??? We will go to the Airport now, bring your passport and visa in your bag please . . .’ Her Mom said.
‘ Okay, Mom. I’m ready, we go now.’ She said.
They go to the Airport by their car.Dad and Mom are in front but Ann is behind them. She is listening a song in her mp3. She always do this in all of her journey time for defeat her boring time. Now, she listens a song sang by THE CORRS. It is her favourite group band. She like the violinist in that group named Sharon. A name in one of her friends.

A hour later
They has arrive in the airport. They let her for waiting in her waiting room. They wait her in the public chairs.
‘ Dad, I want to wait for someone there before I fly to Franch. I’m sure he will come . . .’ She said.
‘ He is Atan isn’t he??’ Mom said.
‘ Yes Mom.’
She wait for someone she expected to become her last boy that she see when she fly to Franch.
‘ Atan, I wish you will come to meet me here, come here please.’ She said to herself.
‘ I will wait you until I’m bored. I love you very much. Come and say good bye to me please . . . !!!’
She is still wait for his coming while listen her mp3 with the earphone in her ears.
The air of Jakarta has been seen by him. It is still 3 kilometres again to reach the Airport but what happened with the way, it is in traffic jam. He is very angry about it. How can it happened in his emergency time.
‘ I will ride a motorcycle to go to the Airport. I must be fast. If I late altought it is a second, it will be a bad day in my live that I can’t see my love in our last time.’ He said to his driver.
‘ Okay, but be careful please, don’t be hurried, it is in traffic jam.’ The driver said.
‘ Yes, I understand.’ He said.
He seek for a motorcycle around him, but he doesn’t find it. He go to the motor place at that way by running. He must be fast or he will miss his chance for seeing her.
‘ Mr, I want you to bring me to the Airport now . . .’
‘ Oh, yes I will.’ He said.
They go to the Airport by passing a mouse way in the city because thay must be fast.
Fifteen minutes later he arrives at the Airport, but he doesn’t see Ann. Does she have fly ???
‘ Ann where are you ??? I want to see you now.’ He shouted.
‘ Ann, where are you ???’
He run to the waiting room there, but he doesn’t see her too.
‘I think she has fly to Franch. She has leave me alone here.’ He said to himself.
He back to his motor in weaken. He has miss his last chance for seeing Ann. He is very dissapointed about it. But he think that he hear a sound in far away and he recognizes this sound well.
‘ Atan . . . . . . .’
He round his body to his back, and he see a beautiful girl far from him. He know who is she. She is his love, his power, his life, she is Nurima Lestha Andrea . . . She is very beautiful this day. She wears a scarf around his hair which is long passing her back. She runs to him happily. It is true . . . She is Ann, his love.
‘ Atan, wait me . . . .’ She said.
He is standing up there for receiving her hand.
‘ Atan, why are you late to meet me here . . . I hate you’ She said.
‘ But I’m here now. Will you angry with me ???’
‘ Ann, look my eyes ! ! ! Can you hate me ?
‘ No, I can’t do it. I can’t be angry or hate to you.’
‘Thanks you has come here, I can fly in my happiness now because you have been here to see my flying.’
‘ I will always wait yuor back to Indonesia . . .,come back fast please. You won’t make me wait in a long time will you?’
‘ I will come back fast, I promised.’
‘ Okay, you can fly now, you will be late if you are there for a long time,’ He said.
‘ Yes, I miss you,’
‘ Miss you too.’ He said.
Ann began to walk to her waitng room, but she hear tan say something to her. She returns to Atan and ask about it.
‘ What will you say to me ???’ She said.
‘ Thank you for loving me . . . .’ He said.
‘ You may not say it to me, It will look as if we won’t meet again. I just in Franch for five years, we will pass it easily.’ She said.
‘ Thank you Ann, Loving you is my best happiness in my life.’ He said.
‘ You are wellcome . . .I’m too.’


The plane has been landing in Franch. She bring her bag to go to her driver in the Airport way. She wait for the driver for a few minute because he has said that he will be late.
‘ Atan, I have been in Franch now. Some hours before we are still together, but now I must used to live without you. Do you hear me there ???’ She said to herself.
‘ Oh, it has been tweenty minute since I wait for a driver from my apartment. Where is he ?? I began to feel bored here.’
A few minute later . . . .
‘ I’m sorry Miss, the way is getting traffic now . . .’ The driver said.
‘ It’s okay . . . bring my bag please . .!!!’
‘ Oh, yes surely . . .’ He said.
She enter the car and they reach her aparment. She looks many things that hasn’t been seen in Indonesia. Franch is different from her country. Her aparment is in the center of Paris, so she can easily go to the other place for her matter.
‘ Okay, this is your apartment, I wish you will like it.’ He said.
‘ Yes, thanks.’
‘ I will bring your bag and you can ask your key to the receptionist.’ He said.
‘ Okay . . . .’ She said shortly.

She open the door, enter the room. It is very cool. She thinks that she must be wearing her jacket forever in this country. She open her bag and began to put all her clothes into her cupboard.
‘ Oh, I’m very tired, It will be better if I sleep for a few time.’
She crash to her bed and getting sleep.
‘ Atan, I wish that I will always dream of you in my nights.’ She said it before she sleep.

The night comes. Ann has been woke up from her dream. She will have her first dinner in the apartment with someone whom will accompany her in Franch, she is Fanny. She is her father relation there. She come down to the restaurant in her apartment. She sit on one of many chairs in there. She wait for Miss Fanny.
‘ Hi Ann, how are you ???’ A speaker said.
‘ Oh, Miss Fanny . . .I’m fine thank you . . . how about you ??’ She said.
‘ I’m fine too. Have you ordered a menu here ??’ Fanny said.
‘ Oh, I have just come here, I haven’t ordered a menu.’ She said.
‘ Waitress, come here please . . . I want you to give us two plates of fried rice Okay . . .’ Fanny said.
‘ Ann, you must be used to life here. You will stay here for five years and it doesn’t a short time.’ She said again.
‘ Yeah I have thought about it, but there is something in my heart.’ Ann said.
‘ What is this, you must say it to me. It will be better that you began to coming it out from your brain. You must be concentrate in your study here.’
‘ Part of me haven’t be here now. I feel that I still in my country.’ She said.
‘ You leave someone special in your heart there ??’ She said.
‘ Yeah, my love . . . .Atan, he is part of my live. I think my body isn’t complete if I don’t beside him.’ Ann said.
‘ Your busy time will make it go on.’ She said.
‘ I wish that’s true.’
‘ Okay, the fried rice have come, won’t you eat it ??’ She said.
‘ Yes . . .’
‘ I’m sure that you can pass it well.’ She said before she enter her first bribe.
They eat it fast. After this, Ann will have a nice shopping with her. She will began to prepare her first day in Sarbone University. She wants to see Eifell too, but she doesn’t know that Fanny will give her permission or not.
‘ Miss Fanny, I want to see Eifell this night.’
‘ Oh, it’s okay . . . I will accompany you to go there.’
‘ Thank you,’ She said.
‘ You are wellcome,’

Dear Andrea
Happy birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday.
Ann, don’t you know that I feel that I have wait you for so long time. I know that it have just a year. In 29th June last year, I still see your beauty, your nice smile, your shine, your face and so on which made me happy to walk in this world alone. . . .but you have leave me alone to get your dream there.
I feel that is was easy because I think by looking your photos is an enought way to defeat my will to be always with you. It was a falsehood because I had missed you when you left me alone in the airport coridor last year.
Ann, I want to say that I have decorated our candles lake with some nice candles. It’s look very beautiful as you face if it is under the sun, sunny. I had saved their pictures in my handphone too in order that you can see it if you come dack to Indonesia.
I can’t say anything anymore to you because it can make me become more sad. I just want to say two sentenses in our birthday
I love you
I love you
Happy birthday my honey
Happy birthday my pretty girl
Happy birthday my only the most beautiful girl in my life.



Ann, my only love
Ann, I have been finishing my tesis in my study. How about you? Do you feel happy there ? ? Ann, I seek more knowledge in my second strata in the Indonesian University while wait your coming. Ann, I have missed you very much. I can’t keep it again in my heart.I will be depressed if I continue to save it. When will we meet again. This is just the second year for you be there, but I feel it become a century.
Ann, you have been 22 years old now. I’m sure that you have got many new experiences there. Oh, I’m forget, our lake had been decorated again in our second year birthday without a meeting. In the night I do it, the sky was very beutiful like when we were together there. I had sent my picture in front of our lake with your most favourite flower,rose. You can just wait for it. The next, I want you to send your picture in front of the Eiffel. You know that Franch is hasn’t complete without an Eiffel don’t you.
In my last sentence, I want to say that I began bored to wait you. I have try to lost this feel but it is very powerful. I sorry for saying it to you, but it is a reality. I hope it won’t be happened because my love to you can defeat all the stone which disturb our way to reach our happiness together.
Ann, Happy birthday, Happy birthday, Happy birthday.
According to me it is a nice day because there two humans that celebrate their birthday in the same day. Altought we are in a long distance, my love for you forever and won’t seek the others girl to become my girl without your advice.

Be fast in coming back to Indonesia.
I waiting you there.
Forever and forever.
I want to see you before my time lost . . . .
Ann I began to feel that I will never meet you again.
Ann, go home please . . . I want to see your face.

Your love


Ann feel a different thing when she read his second letter in their birthday. She began to think bad about his case. What has happened with Atan. When she read his letter, she want to back to Indonesia quickly. She wants to know what has happened with him. She is writing a feedback letter for him. She ask him why he said that in his letter.
The day has been dark when Ann finish her writing. She will sent it tomorrow. She will have dinner in the restaurant in the apartment with Funny now while talking about their riset in Oxford University in Problem Of Learning English. They will go to Oxford University together. Their Campus Rector has had a promise with Oxford for sending their students there.
‘ Ann, you look sad today. What has happened with you ? ? It’s not usual.’ Funny said.
‘ Atan had said unnusual words to me in his second letter. I think thet there is something have happened to him.’
She said.
‘ Don’t be sad Ann, It can have a bad influence in your study here. You must be concentrate in your riset in order that you will come back faster than the program.’ Funny said.
‘ Thanks for all, you are my best guide here. You are very kind and beautiful. Oh, have you had a boyfriend ? ? I never see you with a boy before.’
‘ He has been working as a assistant of a lecture in Oxford, so he is very busy. I seldom have a meeteing with him but I’m happy to going on in my case. I believe thet his love only for me . . . And we will married with him next year .’
‘ Oh . . . I’m happy to hear that. Why do you never say it to me . . . I will hate you forever if you don’t invite me in your party . .’
‘ It’s okay. . . I won’t forget you in one of my inviting person.’ She said.
‘Thanks a lot.’ She said.


My Dear Love

Hi Ann, how are you today? You can hear that I’m fine. Ann, I’m very happy this year. I will tell you that last year made me busy in my tesis, so I said more sadness words to you. You must know that it wasn’t true. I will never be bored for waiting you here. Ann, I have become a master of Phisics now because I had received my letter that I had been a master. Ann, you must follow me in my happiness. My parents also proud of me. I’m very happy when they say it to me.
Ann, how about your study? I never hear it from you but I can ask it to your parents every years in your value letter from Franch. I proud of you Ann. You can defand you value there althought you have a competition with the others.
I will never feel sad this year and forever. You musn’t be sad if there’s anything happened to me. I have been the most happy people in my family. Ann, my life is happiness, happiness, and happiness.
Ann, you will love me forever won’t you?
Ann, love me forever please . . . .
I wish you will do it for me.
Waiting for you in my paradise here.
Love you . . . . . .

Waiting for you



They bring him to the closest hospital. They don’t know that it will be happened. They only know if he has few time only to feel this life. They had heared it from their family doctor when they went to Anyer.
He is come into ICU room. His parents only can wait him in the waiting room.

A hours later,
‘ How about him doctor?’ Mr Atmanegara said.
‘ You can follow me to go to my room now ? ?’ Doctor said.
‘ Yes . . . ‘
They go to the doctor’s room together. Mr And Mrs Atanegara walk with many questions in their heart. Whart has happened with Atan, it is far from their doctor words in Anyer. It’s very fast.
They arrived the room.
‘ What happened with our son doctor ? ?’ He said.
‘ I’m sorry sir, I have no power to fix it. We just wait the time till his time come out. It’s will be better if you accompany him in his room. We has bring him to his room, you can spend your last time beside him.’
‘ What ? ? ? It’s false . . . he must have his marry with his olny love, he just need 2 years to do it . . . .’ He said.
‘ We can’t do anything anymore . . I’m sorry.” The doctor said.
‘Dad, lets go to his room now . . . we must make him happy in his last time. Mrs Atmanegara said.
They go to hi room together. They will keep him till his time come. They will give him the best things in his last time. They arrive at his room. They enter it. They see a handsome boy sleep weakly on the bed. They approach him. He is very weak. They don’t thinnk that it will be happenend to him. He is stil young. He has never married with his love, Andrea. Who pity he is? He shouldn’t receive it.
‘ Atan, you are our best son . . . ‘ Mrs Atmanegara said.
He began to wake up.
‘ Dad, mom. . . . . Why are you look sad? You musn’t be sad. This is my life and I have ready to finish my life.’ He said.
‘ Atan . . . be kind please. We will attend to do all you command for us, you just mention it.’ Dad said.
‘ I want you to keep secret of my death soon from Ann, I don’t want she know about it in her study. She will thing bad of me if it happened. Dad, please do it for me . . . . ‘ He said.
‘ Okay, we will do it. It because we love you very mush and don’t want you to be sad in you last time.
‘ I have prepare two letters for Ann. They are her letters in the fourth and fifth year in Franch, You must send it in her birthday as a word of saying Happy birthday to her.’ He said.
‘ Okay we will do it for you.’
‘ Dad, Mom, I ask promise of all my falsehood . . . I think that I can’t be your best son.’
‘ Not, it is not true. . . You are our best son, You have give us many happiness.’ Dad said.
‘I have prepared two letters in my room. You can take them under my studing table. There are two latters and a ring there. Give her the ring when she received her last letter.’ He said.
‘ Okay, Dad have understand what you mean.’
‘ Why do you do it to her, Atan... You love her very much don’t you. If you do it, you will broke her heart.’ Dad said.
‘ It is not my mean mom, I want her finishing her study succesfully. It’s okay if you give her this information, it will decrease her spirit in studying.’ He said.
Mrs Atmanegara can’t say anything. She can’t speak as well as her mouth is closed by something. She look her husband, Mr Atmanegara sadly. It’s look that she hasn’t received that her son will be going on.
‘ Mom, Dad, It will be better that you go to sleep, you lok very tired. I will be nice there, Be calm please . . .’ He said.
‘ Okay, we will sleep there.’
‘ Okay.’ Mom said.

They take a rest in his room. Mr and Mrs Atmanegara sleep on the sofa in the room. Atan feel comfort when he look his parents. He love them very much. They look fast asleep. He can go on happily now. He feel that he doesn’t have any burden again.
Atan see a very handsome one in front of him. He allow him to follow him. Atan just do what he say. He go out from his room. He feel very happy that time. He leave all people beside him, Mr and Mrs Atmanegara. He has moved from his world. Leaving all he has in his life.

A hour later . . .
Mrs Atmanegara wake up from her short sleep. She decide to see Atan in his bed. She look That Atan is sleeping. She sit beside him and began to eat some biscuits. What happended with Atan ??? He does’t move his body. Mrs Atmanegara feel afraid of it. She starts to understand that her son has dead. She call her husband.
‘ Dad, come here please . . .’ She said
‘ What happened Mom, I still asleep.’ He said.
‘ Our son, He has leave us there.’
‘ What ? ? ? ? It is false. He just sleep there.’ He said.
‘ It is a reality Dad, He had said about it didn’t he.’ Mom said.
‘ He has left us . . . I understand, It will become better soon. We just miss one of our happiness which has been given by God.’ He said.
They began to finish their case in the hospital. They will bring him to their house. They receive it without sadness because it had been known by them. They just think what will they say to Ann. They are certain that she will be the most sad people in hearing this information. They can’t say anything. They attemp to walk in this world without their only son, Atan.


Ann has just come back from her research in Oxford University. She will have finished it about two weeks later. This day, she will receive her fourth letter from Atan. She looks very happy. She will back to Indonesia soon. She goes to Funny’s house. She will ask for her help in entering data from The University.
She decide to buy some snack for being eat in Funny’s house. She arrive at a shop which sell many kinds of snack. She buy some and continuing her job to reach Funny’s house. A few minutes later, she has standed up in front of her house. She knocks the bell.
KRING . . . KRING . . . KRING. . .
She wait for an answer from the house then she hear a girl answer her. Funny come out from her house. She allow her to enter her room. They began to do their job there.

To Ann
My Love

Ann, happy birthday to you . . .
How are you today? I have miss you so much. I wait you till the end of my life if you want me to do it. Ann, the naxt year you will come back to Indonesia. I will welcome you there. I love you so much.
Your Only Love

She has finished read her letter from Atan. She feel something different in her mind. She wish it is a falsehood. She will meet Atan in happiness. She goes to her cupboard and take a box. It contains of many gift from Atan. She began to dream that she is in their candles lake. They have been having a nice picnic there.
She think that she must make her study there become faster. She must come back for Indonesia. Atan has wait her in a long time. She may not make him dissapointed. She must make him happy because he had give him permission for studying in Franch. She take a photo from him. It is their photo when they was having a lunch in their lake. She looks that he was very happy iin the photo.
‘ Atan, wait me please.....’ She said to herself.
She take the box to the cupboard again, then she goes to her computer to start her job. She must finished it tomorrow morning and give it to Funny. She does it carrefully. She doesn’t want a mistake happened in her job.

Andrea looks very happy now. She has graduated from Sarbone University with good mark. She is in Funny’s house to say good bye.
‘ Ann, You are a great student I ever see. You can finished your study before your time come.’ Funny said.
‘ Oh, I must be fast . . . I don’t want Atan wait me anymore.’ She said.
‘ Wow . . . . You are very romantic !!!!’ She said.
‘ Oh, It’s too good for me. I really have made him boring to wait me. It’s have been five years since I go here, I must back for him and make him happy about my back.’ She said.
‘ It’s a very good answer for me, I wish you will come back safely.’ She said.
‘ Thanks for all Funny, you have helped me a lot.’
‘ You’re welcome.’ He said.
‘ Can I go home now?’ She said.
‘ Okay. . . .’ Funny said.
She go out from Funny’s house and go home by walking. She passes a large field in front of her apartment. She enter the apartment. She began to packing many goods that will she bring to Indonesia. She does it herself because she is alon in her apartment.
She is sitting on the chair in the waiting room in the airport. She is waiting for her calling to have flight. She choose the first flight in this day because she wants to arrive in Indonesia on time. A few minute later she get her flight. She leave Franch at 08.00 am. She gets the second chair in the plane. She sits and began to prepare her flight happily.
She passes a boring flight. She is very tired. She spends her time by sleeping in the plane. She wish that she will arrive in Indonesia when she open her eyes. She will see her only love welcome her in front of the airport gate. She will approach to him fast and get him in her hand. Oh, she will be the happiest girl if it is happened, but she doesn’t know if her wish won’t be happened.

Some hours later . . . .
She go down from the plane with her bag. She takes her bag on her right hand by smilling to herself. She will go to the waiting room to wait her family’s coming. She is reading the newspaper in the room.
‘ Hy Andrea. . . . “ A speaker said.
‘ Oh, Hy Sharon . . . . Where are you from?? Why are you here today?’ She said.
‘ I’m from Bandung to have a family’s meeting. Ann, you looks so different from five years ago . . . What happened with you?’ Sharon said.
‘ Oh it doesnt matter. I’m fine.’ She said
‘ Then . . . what are you doing here?’ She said.
‘I’m waiting for my family.’
‘ Okay, I go out now, Bye Ann.’ She said
‘ Bye, see you next time’
‘ See you . . . . ‘ She said.
Ann continues her reading while waiting her family. She looks a person that has she known well. He is her father. She in standing up from her chair and smile to her father. He go there without her mother.
‘ Dad, where’s Mom?? Why she doesn’t go here with you??’ She said.
‘ Oh, she is busy and can’t leave her work now so Dad go here alone. It doesn’t matter is it?’ Dad said.
‘ Oh, it’s okay. Where is Atan ??? He doesn’t meet me here after five years ??? Don’t he miss me Dad??? ‘ She said.
‘ May be he is busy too.’
‘ Oh . . . . .’
‘ Go home now ???’
‘ Yes,’
They go to their home by driving the car. Ann sit on the back and decide to sleep in a short time.She is very tired after her long time flight. Her father looks thinking anything. He doesn’t know what will he say to Ann if she ask about Atan again, He is confused about it. He will feel false if he say more falsehood words to his daughter.They arrive at home when her mother go out to watering flowers in front of their home. Her mother welcome her with a sweet kiss. She is very happy to receive it after a long time she doesn’t feel a happiness from her parents.


She decide to meet Atan today. She will says all about her stories in Franch. She must say it before. She call his room number but she can’t speaks with him, so she say that she wants to meet him in The candles lake to his Mom. His mom doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t anything that time. She feel a happiness only in her heart.
Ann is standing up beside the lake at 17.00 pm. She bring some goods in her hand. She will show it to Atan when he come there. She hopes that he will be very happy when he see her. She wait him till the day become dark. What happened with him ?? Why doesn’t he come there. She has wait him in a long time. She decide to send him a message.

To : Atan
Tan, I will wait you here everyday at 17.00 pm till you come to meet me.
I will wait you . . .
I will believe that you come to meet me here
Meet me and live with me forever . . .

She send the message to his number. Shhe wish he will read it and decide to do her command. She think that he has been boring to love her but she attemp to throw this away from her brain and she give the biggest believe for him.
She sit again on the grass and wait for him. She put her handphone in. She still wish that he will come to the lake. She doesn’t know what had happened to him. Why doesn’t he come to meet her. Her dream to build a big happiness with him began to settle from her brain.
‘ Atan . . . Where are you ?? You don’t come to meet me, don’t you miss me ?? You have wait me five years, but when I come, you went away.’
She packs her bag and go home sadly. Her wish to meet him has lost.
Atan’s mom receive Ann’s message. She reads it. After reading the message, she talk to her husband.
‘ Dad, what will we do to say thet Atan had gone ?? Ann has been back from Franch and she want to meet Atan.’ She said.
‘ We must say it to her Mom, she must know about it whatever will happened to her after she receive this news.’ Dad said.
‘ But I’m afraid . . . She love him very much. She will be very sad when she hear it. I hasn’t been ready to see her sadness in front of us.’ She said.
‘ Dad has prepare a night we will say it to her. . .’
‘ When ???’ She said.
‘ You just follow me . . . Okay !!!’ He said
‘ Okay . . .’
‘ Where do you safe his last letter and the ring??’ He said.
‘ Yes, we will give it when we say it to her,don’t we?’ She said.
‘ Yes . . .’
They decide to to Ann’s house. They will talk about all have Atan commanded to them. They arrive in front of her house. They konck the door. Mrs Lestha opens the door and let them sitting. They say that they will talk with Ann. Mrs Lestha calls her daughter in her bedroom.
‘ Ann, Atan’s parents want to meet you now, can you go out and meet them??’ She said.
‘ Oh, okay Mom . . . I will meet them now. I want to ask many about Atan too.’
‘ Let’s go to the living room, they are there.’
They come down pass the ladder. Seeing Atan’s parents, she is very happy. She will tell much story about her life in Franch and ask about Atan. Why he dosn’t come to meet her. She approach to them,then she get their hand.
‘ Hallo, how are you?’
‘ I’m fine. Thanks Ann.’
‘ Om, where is Atan. Why he doesn’t follow you to go here??’ She said.
‘ He can’t come. You will understand about all had happened here when you read his letter for you.’ Mr Atmanegara said.
‘ What ??? What have you say, I don’t understand about it.’ She said.
‘ Here you are,’
‘ Oh, thanks . . . .’
She receive the letter.
‘ You can read it now,in front of us.’
‘ Not, I want to read it ar the lake. I will go out now . Okay, good bye Om,’ She said.
‘ Good bye . . .’
She ask for permission for going to the lake.
They let her to go to the lake alone. They understand about her decision. She needs a comfort place to understand what atan say in his letter.
‘ Be careful Ann,’


She has been ready to read his letter. She sit on the grass beside the lake. She opens the letter and began to read it. She hasn’t known what he say in his letter.

To :
Nurima Lestha Andrea

Ann, if you read this letter, may be you have not seeing me. I have gone to a very far place that you won’t reach it in your life. Ann, you know that I love you forever and I want to build a big love castle with you, but my written say different, I must gone because of my lung cancer. It had fall on me when we still together in our happiness. You don’t know about it because I never say it to you. I won’t see your sadness when you know that I have a lung cancer. It had taken my live.
I’m very sad when I know that I will be gone because of it. It maynot be happened, but live is like this. We can’t arrange it by our need. Ann, I wish you will understand about it. You must know that I really don’n think I will be happened so fast. I just think that I can make you become the happipest girl in this world.
Ann, you must depend in this world without me. You must live in more long time to life. You must be happy and have many children from your husband. You must listen my words. I want you to depend your life to have many children there.
You must be happy . . .
You must be happy . . .
I’m sure you can do it because you are a strong girl. You must be standing up here to wait my coming. I will pick you up to have an ideal life in our beyond.
Ann, I believe in you . . .
I believe in you forever,
Life and have many children in your life and it is the one thing that will make me happy in my place now.
Love is not an anything that make you sad but it will bring you to your pervect happiness althought it is in your beyond, not in your world.
Ann, make my death be useful in another live.
I love you forever, I bring my love till my death come and I never contaminate it with the other love.
Wait me there and I will pick you up so that we can have an ideal live in another live because I’m sure it will be happened.
Thanks for all Ann, you have become my first and my last love in my live. I’m very happy to have it.
Thanks Ann,
I love you . . .


Her tears fall down passes her cheek. She doesn’t know what will he do after that. She is confused and afraid. She never get a bad news about it before. She wants to cry but her speech can’t come out. She feel that her throat is closed by something, and she can’t say althought it is just a word.
‘ Atan . . . . . Why do you leave me alone here?? I feel that I don’t have a friend in my life. Atan. . . . you were very kind, you won’t I know about your cancer. What is your purpose ?? Does it make me happy?? Not, It make me think that you don’t believe me as your girlfriend.’ She said.
‘ Atan . . . . . . !!!!!!’ She cried.
Her tears continuedly fall down. She can’t prevent it. She doesn’t woke up from her sitting. She bowed her head. She think that she must do all his command. She must life in a long time. She will have many children from her husband whom she loves him very much. It is his command, and she must do it as her last love expression to Atan.
‘ Atan, I will have a happy life without you because I feel you love in my heart. Atan, you can prove that I will have an ideal life and I will meet you in you beyond. Yes, I’m sure we will meet in our beyond.
You can wait me there, We will meet and have a bast meeting there,
Atan, wait me and we will be the happiest coople which ever been.’ She said.
She erases her tears and stands up. She will go home now. She maynot show her sadness in front of her family and she wo’nt be sad again. She will be happy, happy, and happy. She walk arround the lake. She wish it is the last time she’s there because ahe won’t remember about their recolections when they were together there but she wish that his love will always decorated her life.
She come back to her home. She will start her new life without a sadness arround her head. What will she decided then is her right. She continues her walking till she arrive at her house. She knock the door but it isn’t locked. She opens the door. There are Atan’s parents in the living room. She decide to meet them.
‘ Hay Om. . .’ She said.
‘ Oh, Ann, you have come back from the lake. Do you have know what had happened with Atan ???’ Mr Atmanegara said.
‘ I won’t be sad Om . . . I will be my spirit to continue my life. I won’t hear that his death isn’t useful.’ She said.
‘ Oh, good idea Ann, I proud of you. You can receive it as your written.’ He said.
‘ Om, I’m very tired so I want to sleep now, Okay good evening all people.’ She said.
She goes to her bedroom. She locks the door then stands in front of her studying table. She want to write something in her diary book then she will go to sleep. She takes her diary book to her table, She starts to write what is there in her heart.

June, 29th 2008

Hy Diary,
I has passed a long time in my life with various events happened. I really began bored with all of my life. Dy, I want you know about what has happened with my love story. I’m sure you won’t understand but I believe that you can keep it in your body.
Dy, I lost my first and last love. He has gone away from my life and won’t be back again. He went to a place which I can’t reach it. He has placed on his beyond. Dy, I’m very sad when I hear it in the first time and I feel it is happened in very short time in our love story.
He has death because of his lung cancer. I really don’t know about it and he is very clever to hide it. I know that he often went to Anyer for a bisnis but I don’t know that he is in his threatment process. He is a very good designer in my life. He make my life become colourfull with many unforgettable moment that we do it together.
Dy, He want me to live in more time so that I can have many children. He said that he will be very happy if I do it for him. I understand if he said it to me. He really want me become the happiest girl althougth it is without him. What must I do?? I’m very confused about it.
Dy, help me to do all he want. I want to make him happy. I must be sure that I can make him proud of me because I do what he say. I will be the happiest girl in this world.
Atan, you were my only love.
I will prove that I can life happily without you and you can be oroud of me. Atan, wait me. We will meet in our another life that is more beautiful than now.
Dy, keep my love for him.

THE END . . . . . ! ! ! !

Friday, February 13, 2009


Apa yang disebut pewarna kuku adalah sesuatu yang diletakkan diatas kuku yang digunakan oleh wanita dan memiliki lapisan permukaan. Benda ini tidak boleh digunakan jika ia akan mengerjakan shalat karena benda ini akan menghambat sampainya air ke kuku. Dan segala sesuatu yang menghambat sampainya air tidak boleh digunakan oleh orang yang berwudhu atau mandi wajib.


Mereka sangat cangat cantik, memiliki suara-suara yang indah dan berakhlaq yang mulia. Mereka mengenakan pakaian yang paling bagus dan siapapun yang membicarakan diri mereka pasti akan digelitik kerinduan kepada mereka, seakan-akan dia sudah melihat secara langsung bidadari-bidadari itu. Siapapun ingin bertemu dengan mereka, ingin bersama mereka dan ingin hidup bersama mereka.